1 - Law of Chromatic Diversity
Air can be any colour of the viewable spectrum.
2 - Law of Old Man Comic Relief
One law would be that Comic relief comes in the form of a short bald wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien...or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary -
If an Old Man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an Old Woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.
3 - Law of the Wise Old Man
Little, old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
4 - Law of Omnipotent Unreliability
Any 'Bad Guy' with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the 'Good Guy' until it is too late.
First Corollary
All 'Bad Guys' suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all 'Bad Guys' to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the 'Good Guy'.
Second Corollary
No 'Bad Guy' may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring:
- The control device being broken.
- The control device being taken by the 'Good Guy'.
- The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just 'fooled' by the 'Good Guy'.
- The 'Bad Guy' has already lost and cannot use the device.
5 - Law of minimum corneal volume:
Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face's total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
6 - Law of Electrical charges in hair
Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look.
b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.
7 - Law of Projectile Accuracy
When there are multiple types of projectiles available (EG paint balls, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to 'standard' or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)
8 - Law of Active Female Attraction
In a comedy series, a male character's attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OAV] have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosi, Ataru, and Carrot couldn't get a date despite - or because of - their constant attempts.)
9 - Law of Sweat Pore Variability
When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a big gulp from 7-11.
10 - Law of Inverse Training Time
A person who has been training for three years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
11 - Law of Needs to Few and Many
The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few...of even the one.
12 - Law of Bad Humour
Whenever someone says something that is intended to be a joke, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters on the screen (including animals) would fall to the ground with feet in the air. Sweat would sometimes accompany the fall.
13 - Law of Extreme Anger
Whenever a female character gets mad - such as when seeing the male character with another girl - she will become extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 tonne object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other cruel punishments such as pinching the guy's face so hard it changes shape.
14 - Law of Juvenile Omnipotence (from Erin Alia)
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
15 - Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension
In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the 'Good Guy's' Style Coefficient must increase by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the 'Bad Guy' inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic Tension, which will *always* be offset by an exponential increase in the 'Good Guy's' Style Coefficient.
16 - Law of Coercive Vehicular Control
No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary
Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjustable at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the manoeuvre.
Second Corollary
It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character's consent. This does not always apply to 'Bad Guy' characters, or 'Good Guy' characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
17 - Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension
In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the 'Good Guy's' Style Coefficient, not only does the 'Bad Guy' usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.
18 - Law of The Rushing Background Effect
Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately important to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as The Rushing Background Effect. Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the blood stream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.
19 - The Law of Interdimensional Hammers
Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head.
20 - The Law of Instant Band-Aids
Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion) These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the characters next screenshot.
21 - Law of Universal Edge Defense
Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing the halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
22 - Law of Intractable Sanity
There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
- Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws (e.g., slowdown and exposition),
- Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or
- Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
23 - Law of Celestial Body Control
At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him to cause a dramatic silhouette.
24 - Aura of Forgetfulness
Any hero who wishes his identity to remain secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
25 - Cool Hair Factor
The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face in a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc.
26 - Law of Inverse Coping
Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.
27 - Law of Love
Anime follows very distinct rules of love.
- The anime characters who fall in love usually must hate each other first.
- The guy is usually too stubborn to admit his love so the woman is usually the first to admit her love.
- The characters find out that they love each other two seconds too late.
28 - The Law of Necromatic Power Increase
The hero will invariably not have the power to defeat the enemy in the first battle and thus will succumb to a seeming death. From this death the hero will receive insight and an exponential increase in power that will make him far stronger than the enemy. This will invariably be surpassed by the next enemy.
29 - The Law of Amendment to the "Five Man Team".
If the team is made totally of one sex.
- The leader (usually doesn't think himself/herself worthy)
- The fighter (usually there to defend someone)
- The intellectual (usually something about them surprises everyone at every turn and can make anything)
- The good looking one
- The leader's rival (usually best friend of the leader who constantly points out their inadequacies)
- The mentor (usually has a vast store of knowledge about the enemies minions, even when the minion was just created five seconds ago)
30 - The Law of Handicap
When a "Good Guy" is outnumbered by a large group of "Bad Guys," the "Good Guy's" strength will increase as needed to quickly defeat the "Bad Guys. " However, when a number of "Good Guys" overwhelm the number of "Bad Guys," the "Good Guys'" power will decrease, thus giving the "Bad Guys" a chance to win and prolonging the battle until the hero shows up.
31 - The Law of Magnification of Energy
A martial arts anime that involves characters controlling ki energy, either Good Guys or Bad Guys can spend up to a whole episode charging up, and the Good/Bad Guy will just stand there and watch without doing anything to stop him.
32 - The Law of Ki Blasts
The time it takes a character to learn an attack is inversely proportional to its power
First Corollary
The size of a blast is directly proportional to the time it takes to perform it.
33 - The Law of Dramatic Staredowns
Anytime the hero is entering a major fight with the villain, they will stare at each other for at least two episodes.
34 - The Law of Exponential Damage Attraction Increase (SSFSX17)
Big bulky guys are exponentially more likely to be harmed for the sake of the girl or for the sake of the greater cause than anyone else.
35 - The Law of Exponential Pain Attraction Increase (SSFSX17)
The smaller, cuter, or younger that a boy or a girl is in a moody and deep Anime, the more troubles and problems that will befall that youth.
